I’m Well, Thanks … And Neither Are You
If someone were to ask how you’re doing right now, odds are your default reply would be: “I’m well, thanks. And you?”
It’s automatic. Polite. Expected.
But let’s pause for a moment and think about that phrase. Are you truly well? Or have you, like many people, accepted a version of wellness that barely scratches the surface?
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: many of us think we’re well because we’re not in crisis. But wellness isn’t the absence of disease or drama.
It’s balance, meaning, connection, energy, and peace.
And if you’re feeling vaguely restless, exhausted, stuck, or constantly “on the edge” despite being “fine,” you’re not alone.
The dissonance is real, and it’s growing.
The Illusion of Wellness
We live in a world obsessed with outward appearances.
With a fit body, a good job, decent sleep, and a mindfulness app or two, we should be thriving. And yet the data tells a different story.
Globally, mental health disorders are on the rise (National Institute of Mental Health, 2021). Burnout has become so pervasive that the World Health Organisation officially classified it as a syndrome in 2019.
In truth, most people are performing wellness rather than living it.
The Seven Pillars of Health and Wellness
We must broaden our perspective to understand what being “well” means.
One helpful way to do this is to look at the Seven Pillars of Wellness: Physical, Mental, Emotional, Social, Spiritual, Occupational, and Environmental. These are not separate silos; they’re interdependent systems.
1. Physical Health: The Visible Piece of the Puzzle
What it means: Eating well, moving your body, sleeping enough, and getting regular medical care.
Why people think they’ve nailed it: You hit the gym twice a week and eat a salad for lunch.
Why they probably haven’t: You’re surviving on caffeine, sleeping poorly, and your back hurts from sitting 9 hours a day. Plus, you haven’t had a check-up in three years.
Why it matters: Physical health isn’t just about looking good in jeans; it supports your immune system, energy levels, and brain function. Skimp on sleep or nutrition, and watch your mood, focus, and motivation crumble.
Small shifts that help: Focus on whole foods, not just calories. Prioritise sleep as recovery, not a luxury. Start walking daily. And see a doctor before something goes wrong.
2. Mental Health: The Operating System
What it means: The ability to process information, solve problems, and adapt to change with resilience.
Why people think they’re fine: “I’m not depressed.” “I’m functioning.”
Why they’re not: Chronic anxiety, racing thoughts, doomscrolling at 2 a.m. These are signs of a taxed mind. We are so overstimulated that we don’t realise our cognitive bandwidth is fried.
Why it matters: Mental health influences decision-making, productivity, and emotional regulation. Poor mental hygiene affects everything, from your relationships to your job performance.
Small shifts that help: Limit screen time. Take mental breaks. Learn to say no. Meditation and journaling aren’t clichés; they’re cognitive resets.
3. Emotional Health: The Quiet Barometer
What it means: Being able to identify, express, and manage your emotions without repressing or overreacting.
Why people fake it: “I’m just tired.” “It’s no big deal.”
What’s going on: You’re suppressing feelings out of fear they’ll inconvenience others. Or you’ve numbed out entirely.
Why it matters: Repressed emotions don’t disappear; they show up as irritability, fatigue, or illness. Emotional literacy is the foundation of meaningful connection and psychological resilience.
Small shifts that help: Check in with your emotions, like you check your email. Label them. Express them constructively. Therapy isn’t just for crises; it’s for growth.
4. Social Health: More Than Just Being “Connected”
What it means: Having authentic, reciprocal relationships and feeling seen, heard, and valued.
Why people think they’re fine: You text your friends. You go to parties.
Why they’re not: We confuse “connected” with “not lonely.” But many people are surrounded by others and still feel isolated. Humans are wired for connection. Strong social bonds reduce stress, boost immunity, and even prolong life.
Small shifts that help: Deepen your relationships, not just multiply them. Put your phone away when talking to someone. Ask better questions. Show up fully.
5. Spiritual Health: The Missing Piece for Many
What it means: Living with purpose, values, and a sense of connection to something bigger than yourself.
Why it’s neglected: Spirituality is often conflated with religion. Others are too busy surviving to ask, “Why am I here?”
Why it matters: A strong sense of meaning serves as a buffer against stress, guides decision-making, and fosters inner peace.
Small shifts that help: Reflect on your core values. What do you stand for? Spend time in nature, meditate, or explore philosophies that help you understand your role in the world.
6. Occupational Health: Where We Spend Most of Our Lives
What it means: Finding purpose and satisfaction in your work while maintaining balance and boundaries.
Why people suffer silently: Our culture glorifies being “busy.” You may hate your job, but feel guilty for complaining.
Why it matters: Work isn’t just a paycheck; it’s a significant source of identity. A toxic job bleeds into your sleep, relationships, and even physical health.
Small shifts that help: Advocate for yourself. Take breaks. Redefine success. It may be time to pivot if your job depletes you more than it energises you.
7. Environmental Health: The Surroundings That Shape Us
What it means: Living in a safe, clean, and uplifting physical space.
Why it’s overlooked: We normalise clutter, noise, pollution, and chaos because they’re familiar.
Why it matters: Your environment affects sleep, stress, focus, and immune response.
Small shifts that help: Declutter your space. Add plants or art that brings you joy. Spend time outside. Advocate for green spaces in your community.
So, Why Aren’t We Well?
It’s because wellness has become performative, hijacked by aesthetics and productivity culture.
Smoothie bowls and fitness apps don’t compensate for a lack of boundaries, self-awareness, or connection. We’re running on fumes, emotionally undernourished and spiritually unmoored.
We’ve confused coping with thriving.
Being able to keep up with life doesn’t mean you’re doing well at it.
What Does True Wellness Feel Like?
It’s not perfection. It’s not always being calm, or happy, or energised. True wellness feels like:
1. Being in tune with your needs and acting on them without guilt.
2. Having space to breathe, physically, emotionally, and mentally.
3. Being able to set boundaries and pursue rest without justifying it.
4. Feeling safe in your own body and mind.
5. Having relationships that nourish, not drain.
6. Knowing who you are, what you care about, and where you’re headed.
It’s balance, not in every moment, but over time. It’s checking in with yourself and adjusting the dials.
Conclusion
Instead of asking “Am I doing enough?” we might ask “What kind of life am I building and for whom?”
True wellness starts with honesty.
The next time someone asks how you’re doing, consider whether “I’m well, thanks” is reflex or reality.
And if it’s not true yet, take heart: real wellness isn’t something you chase. It’s something you create one small choice at a time.
Until next time, may you succeed in building true “wellness”.
Dion Le Roux
References
1. American Psychological Association. (2019). Stress in America: Stress and Relationships. Retrieved from www.apa.org
2. Centres for Disease Control and Prevention. (2021). Physical Activity Basics. Retrieved from www.cdc.gov
3. Harvard Health Publishing. (2020). The Importance of Sleep for Health. Retrieved from www.health.harvard.edu
4. Mental Health America. (2021). The Importance of Emotional Health. Retrieved from www.mhanational.org
5. National Institute of Mental Health. (2021). Mental Health Information. Retrieved from www.nimh.nih.gov
6. World Health Organisation. (2020). Environmental Health. Retrieved from www.who.int